Ever stand on the work floor or been in a situation where you had to communicate a message which was not so comfortable ? Perhaps a difficult message with a team mate or a manager? Here are a few tips to help you out.
“What exactly is the behavior that is causing the problem?” and “What is the impact that the behavior is having on you, the team or the organization?”. You need to reach clarity for yourself so you can articulate the issue in two or three succinct statements. If not, you risk going off on a tangent during the conversation. The lack of focus on the central issue will derail the conversation and sabotage your intentions.
What do you want to accomplish with the conversation? A successful conversation “doesn’t just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards.” What is the desired outcome you want on your cards at the end? What is the person agreeing to do? What support are you committed to provide? What obstacles might prevent these remedial actions from taking place and are you willing to settle?
Spend a little time to reflect on your attitude toward the situation and the person involved. Before having the conversation, look into the possible outcomes and reactions from the other person and see how you will react to it. However, even though you have an objective in mind, be prepared to listen to the other and prepare yourself to be confronted. “Be open to hear first what the other person has to say before reaching closure in your mind.”
What starts as an annoyance, for example, can move to anger and, in extreme cases, escalate to rage. We can avoid this by being mindful of preserving the person’s dignity—and treating them with respect—even if we totally disagree with them. It is important to anticipate what emotions can be involved and how to deal with them in the appropriate manner without things getting out of hand.
There will be moments in the conversation where a silence occurs. Don’t rush to fill it with words. Periodic silence in the conversation allows us to hear what was said and lets the message sink in. A pause also has a calming effect and can help us connect better.
Choose a neutral place which allows you both to feel comfortable, anticipate inappropriate interruptions and shifts of power where one persona may feel more comfortable than the other.
You’re all set! Good luck.